The Road to Broadway: Stitch by Stitch

Getting the ‘Doing’ Off of Time

2009-02-11T19:52:00.005-05:00

Knitting: Zip, Zero, Zilch

The degree to which I have been knitting this last week is a row here and there on my Herringbone scarf, and a few simple rounds on the mittens I mentioned... in class... during an acting exercise. I feel my life is so usurped right now in this class and the work I am doing outside of it in auditioning and what not. I really want this to be a knit blog, but I don’t seem to have the desire to whip out a project at auditions lately. I guess I am focusing on building my fourth side and having a point a view and all that. So knit lovers, be patient, this very busy life is a WIP. I’m sure there will be some juicy fiber talk down the road.

Showbusiness: Attack at Chelsea Studios!!!!

Auditions are happening almost everyday. Classes are speeding up and the work we are doing is getting more complex and fast paced. My partner and I have sustained a lot of growth in our Meisner exercises this last week, and for the most part the class is progressing at full speed despite a few major cramps. This is the part where I wish I had the gonads of some of my fellow bloggers and could point fingers at people who are stifling our process but I promised I would stay objective and general in this forum, so I will simply move on, having put that slight dissatisfaction out there in the universe. Get it together peeps. Not you.

This has been a week of early mornings. I spent Monday and Tuesday waiting in line at Chelsea studios trying to get a time slot for the Sacramento Music Circus EPA’s. Monday I woke up at 6 and did my thing at home: coffee, morning pages (my new sub for meditation), nice shower and carefully gathering my things for both class and an audition. I arrived Chelsea studios at 8 am and got on line in a fairly full room along a mirrored wall not realizing that this was the 2nd holding room they had opened for early risers. I knit for a bit and felt focused, a pleasant state. The line started moving at about 9 AM. It zigzagged back and forth around the room a few times and by the time our line crossed the hall into the main room it was 9:20, 10 minutes to the start of class. Thankfully T. Schreiber is right upstairs. I stole a glance at the table on our way in and heard the monitor say “All the mid-afternoon time slots are all filled up.” Since I was training for a new job at 4 and my class ends around 1:30 I knew I was screwed. I bailed from the line and went upstairs.

Training at the new job was great. The restaurant is bringing in a few more people over the next two days so hopefully I will get the position. I start on Sunday if everything goes as planned.

I learned my lesson from the morning, so when I returned home I allowed myself to do very little and passed out around 9:30, setting the alarm for 5:30 AM. 5:30 AM!!!! Do you know me!?! Fortunately the Gods are more compassionate this month than last, and I awoke feeling great, took much less time getting together at home and rushed down to Chelsea again getting myself there at 10 to 7, just as they were opening the floor for people to line up inside. I was about 40 people back in line and was unexpectedly seated (in a cozy folding chair, what luxury!) next to two colleagues from Coeur d’ Alene Summer Theatre whom I haven’t seen in a couple of years. This made the environment so much more pleasant and allowed us to give self-serving pats on our backs as hundreds of people lined up behind us over the next hour or so. By the time the monitor started giving appointments the line extended every which way along all hallways on the floor totaling, I think, 400 or more. I signed up for a time slot at 2:30 and heavily went up to class which, despite my rampant lethargy, was quite a good day for me. Page want’s to talk to me about the musicality of my speaking. Maybe it’s a good enough reason to have a few private coaching sessions, I’m just looking for an excuse!

Downstairs I strolled through the throngs into the holding room for my audition. In addition to Sacramento, TheaterWorks was holding auditions, as was the Hairspray tour. If you haven’t seen this show you may not understand, but it brings out every single young and young-looking theater hopeful in the city. Black or white, short, tall or fat, Hairspray auditions mean mayhem, and coupled with Sacramento which is just about the best Equity summer contract in the biz, the halls of the studio had certainly not calmed down since the morning. In fact, they were teaming with scattered energy; a general air of anticipation and excitement that has been surprisingly lacking in my last few auditions. I was able to enjoy the fruits of having an appointment (walking straight in and getting in my line) but somehow I could not shake the nerves as I waited by the door. It’s sort of like The Wizard of Oz. You do so much song and dance and cross through so many lands full of colorful and somewhat insane people before you finally get to meet the wizard. Standing at the door in the hall you imagine the wizard as a formidable and frightening anamitronic being, but as soon as you walk in you realize it is three nice old guys, sitting passively behind a table, a bit tired of dealing with nervous people. This was the case for me. The veil of my fears fell immediately, and although I wanted to have a private and emotionally available performance of my song, I just couldn’t shake the physical remnants of the state. I was a bit too rigid and safe I think for their liking.

“Thank you very much for coming in today Andrew.”

Not my favorite thing to hear. I should start taking Kava before I sing.

Sacramento Music Circus 2009 Season—EPA
February 9&10, 2009 10am-5:30pm
Chelsea Studios
151 West 26th Street
New York, NY
6th Floor
Executive Producer: Richard Lewis
Artistic Consultant: Glenn Casale
THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE
ALTAR BOYZ
GUYS AND DOLLS
INTO THE WOODS
SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS
MAN OF LA MANCHA
CATS

Material: To Each his Dulcinea from Man of La Mancha
Point of Focus: Creating a believable 4th Side.

Today I had much better luck. I went to AEA about 8am having had another relaxing morning at home (coffee, morning pages, aren’t I getting predictable) and didn’t have to wait too long to get a 3:10 time slot for St. Michaels Playhouse.

Class was wonderful. Some really great “Slice of Life” performances, and really interesting “Rep-work” with partners adding unusual tasks and objectives to the game. I am continually digesting the advice we get after each performance. Susan says things like, “How was your sense of privacy?” , “How did you feel with the Fourth Side?” and “When did you feel the most truthful?” In addition she gives us quotable directions: “You can’t play the mood of the scene, mood spelled backwards is doom” and “You have to have a point of view!” This might sound like Greek, but these are all the new ideas I am filtrating into my work at home and in auditions.

On that note, Nathaniel, from my old scene study sent out an email this week that he wants our group to evolve into a company, producing 3-5 productions a year in the city. Now that is something I can sink my teeth into.

Back at AEA my appointment was great. I know I said I was going to put "She Loves Me" to rest, but today it worked out in my favor. One huge aspect of good acting is creating believable private behavior. People love to see a character with real idiosyncrasies and relationships to objects. In musicals people rarely cultivate this tool and resort to “shmackting” (faking it) when they have a task to do or are trying to achieve an emotion. I focused on cultivating a senseof private behavior today with this song. I have done it so many times and for so long that I was able to find comfort and privacy in the words themselves as objects which allowed many natural mannerisms to evolve for the character of the song. After this audition I got a much more encouraging response.

“Thank You Andrew, that was great. You tap right?”

“Yeah I’m a tapper. Thank You.”

What a difference a few words make.

Saint Michael’s Playhouse 2009—EPAs (Musical Day)
Saint Michael's Playhouse
Colchester, VT
Actors' Equity Association Audition Center
165 West 46th Street
2nd Floor
New York, NY 10036
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 — Musical Day
9:30 AM — 5:30 PM
Lunch from 1 – 2
Producing Artistic Director: Chuck Tobin
DAMES AT SEA
TALLEY’S FOLLEY
HOW THE OTHER HALF LOVES
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

Material: She Loves Me from She Loves Me
Point of Focus: Private Behavior

Betrayal

2009-02-04T23:42:00.005-05:00

3rd Realm: Sandman Theatre

"An ounce of behavior is worth a pound of words."
-Sanford Meisner

The other day I came home in the evening and having had a great audition and class, I rolled out my back on the balls and then proceeded to my loft to take a nap. I passed out the moment my head hit the pillow.

I was in a performative world. I was a creator and a role model. Artful living was the intent of every endeavor. In the dream, there was an absolute feeling of working toward some culminating performance or exhibition and I was deeply aware that my friends and family were with me at every move and were the fuel for the brave and wonderful choices I made. In particular, I was very close to two of my best friends who have recently had a baby (the most cutest and flirtatious baby I have ever known). There was an immense feeling of love and togetherness amongst us at first, I felt as though I was part of their family --not in the way that I am part of their family, but an even deeper sense of belonging, of really being there. I think that I could watch them through some intimite and wonderful lens and perhaps, they too could watch me. I remember feeling that I was aware of and was in full support of every choice they were making as parents, as a family, as my family. I was watching them and yet with them, or were they watching me? Something happened. Some bad energy or bad choice was made on mine or their part, I cannot remember now.

I was in a playground and I was diving through smooth beige rocks, a tunnel erupting all around me, a gentle rock tunnel that went upwards in gentle arcs, and when it funneled open at the top my eyes met with a lens. I looked through the lens to watch my favorite family, and as I gazed in, the perspective made a 180. The lens turned around and was orienting itself back toward me and the eye of their daughter became present in the viewfinder --staring at me, judging me. Instantly, my heart went black. I had been set up and shamed, I had been turned on and evaluated and what's worse I had been held accountable by the hitherto innocent gaze of their newborn daughter.

The dream becomes a blur of rage and anguish at this point.

"How could they turn on me? Why do they think I am a monster? I'll show them. I'll give them what they want to see. I will turn their judgments on their heads and I will show them and their corrupt child what you get when you fuck with me! When you BETRAY ME!!!"
The situation dragged on and on. There was limited correspondence between me and the father -my oldest and dearest friend- but I felt pushed over each time. I tried to hold it in, but instead I was shamed and trampled. A sick feeling had replaced our love and it seemed to be a permanant fixture. Sickness had replace our love.

The dream was culminating in some kind of performance (as so many of my dreams do - no really). I was sitting at a table, with goblets of beer in a blousing medieval shirt, my long black boots up on the table, my hair long and in a pony tale (very Tale of Two Cities now that I think of it). It was time for my character to speak. I could not. I would not. I was consumed with my life so fully, and no theater could have be more valuable than my truth. Such crippling and honest Hurt.

I clasped my hands over my ears and began to let my heart pour out. It started as a hum, and then grew to an round single note. My mouth opened, no, my heart opened as the song got louder the room growing with the sound of my voice. Tears, running down my cheeks, I was finding something, I was performing precisely the way that I felt. My voice was a mirror for the soul. The sound was tremendous! The weight started to rise off my chest. The rest of the cast listened in acceptance. I knew too, that my friends had forgiven me, that they understood how much I had hurt and how much I love them.

I woke up with a most amazing sense of clarity. I realized that I had continued my work during my nap. I cherish the memory of that note, that noise. The sound of Betrayal. I hope I will one day sing as beautiful and true a song in my lucid days and nights.

NO MORE PHLEGM! Warm Hands and Hearts!

2009-02-04T21:28:00.008-05:00

Knitting: Shiny Mittens

So I have started a fun new project since I have last written about anything knitting on my page. Herringbone mittens with Pom Poms! I found this project on Ravelry when I decided I needed to try something that was new and perhaps challenging, but that more specifically could use the Lang Silk Dream that my roommate gifted me for the holidays.

The colors of the yarn are intoxicating. The deep teal is a staple here in the Buckingham Palace of Kings. We have curtains and drapes and accents of this blue in our rugs, bathroom and personal wardrobes. I am using a silver yarn as an accent color, a real cool and crisp contrast color. Like polished Hematite.

In my hands the yarn is soft and comfortable. It glides across the fingers like one long endless pillow, no grating or chafing at all.

Unfortunately I can't afford to buy DPN's in this size (Double Pointed Needles), so I have been working with my Denise knitting kit. A woman at eightlimbs knitting group described these as the "Pinto" of knitting kits as she boasted an impressive set of Addy interchangeables, the "Rolls Royce" of knitting kits if you will. "Hey, these is hard times. A Pinto gets the job done."

Anyway, this method is an interesting way to cheat your way around buying dpn's if you do have a kit. I use the two shortest links (interchangable chords) with the appropriate tips, putting a needle at one end and a stopper at the other. I knit to the end of the row and then pushing the stiches away from the end on to the link, I swap the position of the plug and the tip so that I can knit off this needle and onto the other while maintaining my one-way "circular" orientation. It is sort of a pain in the neck and doesn't make for the tightest knitting, but in a financial bind it can suffice, and hopefully with a little blocking you can tighten up some of the overstretched stitches in the bunch.

I did just get a job today so hopefully I can buy needles for my next pair! I will post a picture of the work in progress tomorrow.

Showbusiness: Acting is Therapy
Ok. Acting is not therapy! But certainly more than any dance class or music lesson I have ever had, an acting class more closely resembles a group therapy session, our teacher being our shrink. Even Authentic Movement which is a favorite practice of mine (eyes closed improvisation with witnesses) and a legitimate form of dance therapy, feels less like treatment than the emotional meanderings of this current work. Susan, our wonderful and ever-present teacher has been relentless in challenging us to offer ourselves up to the work we are doing in class: to take emotional risks and explore triggers in our own lives around ideas of abandonment and betrayal, truthfulness and vulnerability. She has encouraged us to examine each others methods of telling the truth and look closely at each others stories for lies present in physical presence, emotional attachment, mannerisms, ease of speach and content. We have explored deeper realms of our Meisner rep work (the one I mentioned before with the observations and repetition) to really stay in each moment, to really notice what the other person is doing and to call it out even if it cuts a little bit or seems a bit audacious.
I am totally enthralled with my education. And it is this reason, and the fact that I have been a bit sick, that I haven't written for almost a week. I can't even begin to recap at this point all the minutia of the last week --and who would want to read it-- because I feel like I have been living and breathing this work. "Allowing things to land," as Susan would say, and to effect my process, is letting in much new and powerful information and helping to clear out mental and emotional blocks. Also, too, I am finally clearing out some of the mucus that has long been plauging my sinuses.

Body Dynamics and Vocal Production have been wonderful in contributing to this emotional clearing, this opening up of passageways to allow feelings and impulses to rest a bit closer to the surface, a bit more available and less unknowingly crippling. I have been rolling on two handballs daily as a form of myofascial release, and the potency of the balls seems to be opening a flood gate of changes not just emotional but also in the mental realm, clearing out brain gunk to facilitate a stronger presence in class. Vocal Production is quickly giving me a re-write of my ideas of how to warm up effectively and thouroughly for a performance, how to coordinate the body, the voice and the words, and how to do so with a clear head space. We are breathing deep into our bellies and into the sides of our ribs and exhaling through our words, moving a shout from the throat to the solarplexus, upping it's power and limiting it's harm on the instrument.

On our acting days, we have been journaling --morning pages-- and a few of us have been coming in for Suzuki training a half hour before class. This is a training I desperately want to take at it's source (SITI Company or from Suzuki himself in Japan), but that I feel so privelaged to get to dabble in as a regiment that precedes our long, and as I mentioned - psychologically trying acting days. One aspect of Suzuki that is essential to the work is the cultivation of a strong presence in the body and behind the eyes. The movements are challenging and exhausting but the goal is to be firm and yet relaxed in the structure, sending the tension to 'presense' rather than limiting muscle patterns. I tried to bring this idea into my audition on Monday for St. Louis Stages at the MUNY.

I was completely famished and almost didn't go but I ended up having a very successful audition and used my power as a crutch to help overcome my less than ideal state. The audition was quickly paced amd the choreographer had us dance several times coming in and out of the room and making multiple cuts. I was kept until the end and even danced by myself once. In general I was not feeling inspired in the movement - a clear indication of my famished state. I sang my song and although the choreographer and some assistants seemed interested I got a rather short "Thank You" from the director afterward. Kind of "Wa-Wa" ending to an otherwise awesome audition. The boys before me had impressive voices. Not a typical dance call. It is getting more evident that even the cream of the crop are unemployed now too.

"Oh Well," I thought, "I should really stop doing 'She Loves Me' anyway. It's so juvenile"

Stages St. Louis - ECC Dancers
Monday, February 2nd @ AEA
Little Shop of Horrors, Guys and Dolls, The Drowsy Chaperone
Wojcik/Seay Casting

Audition Material: "She Loves Me" from She Loves Me
Intent: Power behind the eyes

"An actor has to burn inside with an outer ease."
- Michael Chekhov

Slow Beginnings

2009-01-28T16:32:00.003-05:00

Showbusiness: An Actor Prepares

Monday marked the beginning of my 6 weeks of study in the T. Schreiber Studios conservatory program. The morning hit me like a steamroller but I rolled out of bed anyway, cursing the cold all the way down to Chelsea. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are solely dedicated to Acting, and we have 4 unbroken hours of it. I was dragging a bit but the energy of the room soon got me interested, an opportunity to meet my fellow students and our acting teacher Susan Pilar.

Susan is a full-time teacher with a host of experience in New York Broadway and Off-Broadway theaters, currently teaching acting at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and T. Schreiber. Like me, she too started out as a dancer and then made a transition into theater in her early career. As a presence in the room Susan is attentive, energetic and articulate. She seams to carry the cross of working with actors well, receptive to the frenetic energy of such gregarious youth while remaining on task and guiding the direction of the class from point to point. Like many of the teachers at the studio she is able to follow a tangent to it’s point of relevance, omitting no details and then picking up right at the previous juncture so as to not glaze over any of the finer points of the education.

This first class was oriented to allow us to acquaint ourselves both as individuals and as a group. We spent almost two hours sharing stories about one another before getting into our first “acting” exercises. The first exercise was nothing more than a simple game of group catch. The intent of the game is to simulate the same sort of connection you may have in a scene.

“Catch”

Rules
1. The group forms a circle in the room.
2. Starting with one ball, the initiator says the name of someone across from them, makes eye contact with that person, and then throws the ball to them.
3. The receiver then has one minute to throw the ball to someone else following the same guidelines as the first.
4. Each time a ball is dropped the process begins again.

Adjustments.
1. As the game accelerates more balls are added although the rules remain the same. (You cannot throw a ball to someone who already has a ball)
2. Another progression is to remove the use of names requiring the participants to use non-verbal communication.
3. Obstacles can be added. i.e. the group moves in a circle clockwise or counter clockwise while playing the game. We added a second obstacle of turning around after we had caught the ball.

All in all, this was a very simple exercise. What made it pertinent was the discussion that went on around it. Every time the group dropped a ball we were asked to reason with what had happened.

“Why did we drop the ball?,” Susan would say.

“Because we weren’t connected”
“Because we had anticipated the catch”
“Because we weren’t really aware or open to each-other.”

Every example (and I am forgetting the best of them), could be compared to failures that happen onstage and make scenes well, crappier, than they could be. What a good actor sometimes needs is to wait for the dramatic “ball” to land and then to pass it off again with clear intent of where it is going.

We continued this exercise in another game.

“Chairs”

1. The group all sit in chairs throughout the space, one chair per person, facing any direction.
2. One person is taken to the edge of the space and then slowly begins walking to their chair.
3. Without verbal communication, the members of the group move to sit in the chair before the “walker” can sit in it. Each time a member moves the chair they vacate then becomes the chair the walker moves towards.
4. If a person starts to leave their chair they must continue on to find a new vacant seat.

This game was chaos. People were trying to little avail to communicate methods of how to keep the empty chair always across the room from the mover, but non-verbal communications are difficult and thus several people in the same area would move at the same time vacating all their chairs and leaving a wide opportunity for the walker to sit down. Once, when I thought I was responding to the advice of the group I made the worst possible move. basically giving my chair to the walker when they were right in front of me. Cultivating a focus that is so broad, and yet so attentive to how everything should work is very difficult, but is an essential trait of a good actor. You must be so focussed that almost nothing whizzes by you, even if the character you are playing is not-so aware.

We moved on to an exercise that I will outline a bit later when I get to Wednesday, and had little time wrap up as class ended. Susan offered to lead a Suzuki warm-up for anyone that gets to class a half hour early. I have done so little of this technique that I am going to jump at the opportunity.

After class Monday I went to AEA to audition for Broadway in the Desert at Tuacahn Center for the Arts. They are casting their season Footloose, Annie and Aida in repertory so I thought perhaps I had a chance if I could make them see me as flexible and fun! Haven’t heard about my callback yet so, guess not.

Broadway in the Desert EPA
Footloose, Annie, Aida
AEA Audition Center 1/25 9-5
Scott T. Anderson - Artistic Director
Kevin Warnick - Managing Director
Tim Threlfall - Director Aida
Derryl Yeager - Director Footloose

Seth Bisen-Hersh - Accompanist

Audition Material: “Faith” by George Michael

I don’t use this song often, so I thought that it went quite well considering. I found of easy sense of pop performance; not too much story, something I thought was appropriate for Footloose. The panel seemed quite responsive throughout so I felt at ease. Ah, well.

Tuesdays and Thursdays during the program, we have Body Dynamics and Vocal Production.

Body Dynamics with Carol Reynolds is an examination of physical and emotional stresses on the actors body that come in the way of an actor realizing his/her full emotional potential. It is part anatomy, part sensory exploration, part emotional purging. Elements of massage and breath work meet physical exercises to hopefully allow an actor to find a freer sense of body from which to work in a relaxed state of openness. Carol is a keen intuit, and doesn’t miss much as to the energies in the room. I am whole-heartedly convinced that she has a lot to offer me, both in my acting and as a dancer. This kind of exploration tickles my nerdy movement side, the side that can praise Trisha Brown endlessly.

Again, we spent a long time sharing stories of our experiences of body as actors coming into the program. Afterward, we spent time palpating (feeling with the hands) the scapulae of our partners, tracing their spine, and using touch as an energetic adjustment. Susan firmly believes that “humans are animals that cannot survive without physical touch.” We spent nearly the entire two hours laying the foundation for what we will begin exploring in detail tomorrow.

Vocal Production with Page Clements is an opportunity for the group to isolate our breath and voice as tools of our trade and to explore various techniques for how to use our voices with care. Page is a working actress and vocal teacher that had numerous problems with her voice at an early age and found vocal technique as a great relief to her nearly crippling vocal nodes and strong Georgian dialect. Yet again we spent over an hour sharing stories of ourselves and our wants from the class (catch the trend?). We had a little time to begin a basic vocal and physical warm-up, exploring our bodies and voices in a controlled and gentle fashion before we got booted out of the space at Chelsea studios. Page seems so wonderful and knowledgeable on the subject and I am extremely excited to see what direction this workshop goes.

Today, Wednesday, was our second day of Acting and things began to speed up a little bit. We talked for a long time about ‘Slice of Life’, an exercise we will begin next week in which we perform 5-7 minutes of our own lives for the class, in great detail and with several rehearsals.

Developing the idea of communicating with your scene partner, several couples performed an exercise in which they stand facing each other in silence, and just react to the feedback that comes up naturally.

“The Doing comes from your partner,” Susan would say; and she would point out the power dynamics, energy shifts and subtle communications that would occur wordlessly between two people. Watching this exercise I was surprised by how sexy and violent silence can be.

The work evolved. The next few couples tried a similar exercise in which they would speak what they saw in their partner.

“Your eyes are blue,” he would say.
“My eyes are blue,” she would respond.
“Your eyes are blue.”
“My eyes are blue,” she notices something. “You are staring at my eyes.”
“I am staring at your eyes.”
“You are staring at my eyes.”
“I am NOT staring at your eyes anymore.”

And on in like fashion.

For our last exercise of the day we were instructed to bring to class an object of deep personal value. Then, four of us went into the hall and in confidense showed one another our objects. We then had to craft a story around each of the objects as though it was our own, and when we returned to the classroom we each told our stories in succession. The rest of the class was judging us based on who seemed the most truthful which each story, and also on which elements of our individual storytelling rang true even under false pretenses. The objects were an old journal, a small piece of paper with writing on it, a rose-quartz heart and a Rice Krispies watch. We didn’t get the results because we ran out of time, but I received a compliment or two on the way out the door that made me feel good about my work:

“Damn Andrew, I’m never gonna trust you again.”

I’ll end with a Rilke quote Susan gave us today.

“Go within and scale the depths of your being from which your very life springs forth. At it’s source you will find the answer to the question whether you must be an artist. Accept it, however it sounds to you, without analyzing. Perhaps it will become apparent to you that you are indeed called an artist. Then accept that fate; bear it’s burden, and it’s grandeur, without asking for the reward, which might possibly come from without. For a creative artist must be a world of his own and must find everthing within himself and in nature, to which he has betrothed himself.”

Letters to a Young Poet
Rainer Maria Rilke

3rd Realm: Who Do You Think You Are?

It must be a lazy sunday

2009-01-26T00:34:00.002-05:00

3rd Realm: Mindless Entertainment

Back on the Scene!: A week in review

2009-01-24T15:01:00.000-05:00

Knitting:
Sorry guys I guess I am a bit behind, but progress is slow on my Harlem warmers. Hopefully I will have them finished in this next week and create a nice pattern. Until then... a pic of 'craziest vest', disregard the fact that I'm dancing in my underwear. I was just so excited I had finished it!

Showbusiness:
So. I meant to share some of the details of the week as they happened, but the week just got away from me... Instead, I will do a re-cap, and I haven’t decided if this will be the format for my theater postings or if I was just especially lazy this week. Anyhow.

Tuesday was for obvious reasons a day off for auditioning. My roommates and I cabbed up to the Harlem Armory to watch the inauguration of President Obama, but then decided that the event was oriented a little too much for elementary schools and hoofed our way on down to Times Square to be with the people. Our toes froze in minutes, but the energy was abundant and we were glad that we had elected to not take the Chinatown bus to D.C. overnight.

When I got back to my apartment I received a call from my agent. “Hello gorgeous, how are you? When am I going to see your face again?”

Although we are just getting to know each-other, I am always warmed by the sound of his voice. He has a such lovely baritone and uses terms of endearment so gracefully that you can’t help feeling a little charmed when he is speaking to you. He continued to tell me that his partner is the casting director I had auditioned for at the Evita EPA, and that they wanted to see me again on Thursday for a dance callback. He told me he had tried to get me an appointment but was unsuccessful, and made a comment that it would be an “interesting night at home,” I think being a bit sassy that his partner had shunned his recommendation for me in the first place. I was impressed with the story and also reminded that I should have done my homework better. I didn’t make my self look stupid or anything but it wouldn’t have taken much research to make the connection. Alas, with my card in hand there is an ocean of new casting directors I am going to have to become familiar with.

Wednesday didn’t have much on the plate for me so I started the morning with a couple open calls for server positions at restaurants on the upper west side. Neither were that successful, one because they aren’t opening for several weeks, and another because they had filled the position already. I had an appointment at 1pm at T. Schreiber studios to do my monologue for Peter Jensen, the associate artistic director of the studios and coordinator of the six week conservatory program. I arrived very early in order to take care of the business side of registering for the program, so I could run to a 9 to 5 audition afterward. Peter was present at the orientation meeting I attended on Monday and I was taken immediately with his calm and friendly disposition, eyes that seem to speak only the truth - a no-nonsense, warm and tolerant truth at that.

The monologue I performed is from The Boys of Winter by John Pielmeier, an obscure post-Vietnam drama that flopped on broadway in 1985. I dug the piece out of an early 90’s monologue book and was drawn to the piece because it seemed both age and type appropriate, and yet a bit of a stretch for a guy like me. I have worked on it a bit with a group of actors that I was meeting with for scene study on Fridays this fall, and will join up with again as soon as the conservatory is finished in March, so I felt pretty comfortable performing it: this being the first time I have performed a monologue since my first week at Point Park College in 1998. You would think I would have been more uncomfortable than I was, but I got through it quite fine - using the minor nerves that were present to fuel some emotional impulses in the latter part of the reading.

In the play the characters deliver subjective defenses for their fellow soldier Bonney who kills seven Vietnamese in response to an ambush. The characters in reality have died, and the monologues exist in an imagined space, perhaps in the imagination of what might have happened had things gone better. The play is not published and productions of it are few and far between. In the broadway production the role of Monsoon was played by Matt Dillon. L.D., the character he references here, having been created by Wesley Snipes.
WARNING: The character uses racist and explicit language!

Monsoon: I mean, when I was a kid, sir, it was nigger this nigger that, my daddy braggin’ about how he strung up some darky just for lookin’ at a white woman. I mean, I got my clan membership and everything, and lo and behold I’m over here cryin’ my eyes out and this goddamn black dude’s offerin’ me his hanky! I couldn’t fuckin’ believe it! But that’s the secret, sir, the battlefield is the only one-hundred percent pure goddamn democracy that we’ll ever know. I mean them bullets, they got no prejudice. So here I am holed up with this brother and we’re cryin’ together and shittin’ together and sleepin’ so close I could feel his breath--I woke up one night and I saw the moon dancin’ on his skin, this part in the throat right here with is heart beatin’ against it, and i swore if Charlie did anything to that dude I’d tear the motherfucker’s head off. That’s the reason for most of the shit, sir. Your buddy trusts you with his life, some gook pops him in the head, the next coupla dinks you see you’re gonna send to fuckin’ Buddha, no quesions asked, ‘cause they ain’t worth one beat of his heart against this place in the throat.

Peter asked me how I felt doing the piece. I told him that although I was a bit rusty with it (hadn’t worked on it since November) I feel like I’ve worked it enough to feel comfortable in most of the beats, and that although the character is nothing like me, I have begun to allow more of myself into him the last few times I have done it. He thought that my choices at the end didn’t seem as authentic as to what I was doing at first but also noted that he liked where I most of the monologue lived and that I didn’t have any of the “bad habits” that he often notices in musical theater actors. He accepted me into the program and told me that I was right where I needed to be to fit right in. Yay!!!!! I’m gonna be a real actor! I am excited and very grateful to my family for helping me take this course. My agent seemed excited that I was doing the training as well.

Out the door in Chelsea and up to Bernard Telsey studios in the theater district. I arrived the 9 to 5 ECC singer call just as they were reading the list. I was in the 300’s on the list so luckily I didn’t miss my name. Two dear friends from both my tours were there so as they announced we were “typing out”, we shared a few jaded jokes and kept our spirits high.

A “type out” is a common occurrence at Equity chorus calls. They usually happen when too large a number of auditioners come to a call than could possibly be accommodated. This process, totally awkward, consists of the producers/casting bringing you into the room in groups of 10-20 and then they decide who they want to stay and sing based on the way you look and the snap-dash info they glean from a glance at your resume. At this audition they were keeping older gentlemen and boyish types, I must have been just a year or two too old looking to make the cut. In fact, none of my friends were kept, except for a short and charming character actor I saw briefly as they were reading the list. As awkward as “type outs” can be, they are also kind of nice because you don’t waste you’re time if they are just trying to fill a mold, and in general, you get your headshot back.

Thursday was the biggest day of the week. I got up early, meditated, did some yoga and put some oats in my belly before heading off to my Evita callback, this time at Ripley-Grier Studios. The choreographer Kitty, was a bright and direct spirit. The choreo was spanish influenced modern-dance, a great contrast to the flamenco 70’s jazz that is Larry Fuller’s clever choreography that we performed on tour. The Director Rod stated that the production would include choreography for even the leads, saying, “The only person that’s not dancing in this production is Dead Eva.” I got a kick out of that.

We spent a lot of time learning the combination and practicing in groups, so when it finally came to the audition and I was in the first group I did not feel put on the spot or unprepared. I was having some of my “fluorescent anxiety” however, so I wasn’t as completely grounded as I like to be.

Sometimes when I am in these mid-town studios with their blaring fluorescent lights, and all the nerves of hopeful dancers trying to learn and perfect a combination, I fall into a spacey and anxious state when my heart rate gets aerobic. I have, for as long as I can remember, had trouble focussing under prolonged exposure to fluorescent light. Whatever this condition, it is amplified by the circumstances of auditioning, so I have developed some coping mechanisms to keep me centered. The one I used in this case was to take full advantage of the water break they gave us by going out into the more dimly lit hallway, sitting down and just enjoying many deep centering breaths, allowing my heart rate to drop again to around 120 or so.

I performed the combination well, and out of the corner of my eye could see that the other two gentleman I was dancing with were forgetting some of the movement. I didn’t let that distract me for more than a second though, so I just did my thing. I was asked to stay and sing, and I performed from Hair again, this time feeling in really good voice, although feeling that me and the accompanist, who is the Musical Director, weren’t quite in perfect step. Nevertheless, the song went quite well though and a friend said to me when I came out, “Damn Andrew you’ve got some power there.” I hope that was a compliment.

I rushed over to In the Heights (the one I’ve been anticipating!) at Chelsea Studios (same building as T. Schreiber), and slid into the second group although the list had been read. I put on some crazy black jeans that I have painted with gold paint, rocked my nike kicks and nike zip up, and went across the hall to the Little Mermaid ECC for singers to get a number and sign in.
We were brought in the room about twenty minutes later and the three people in the front of the room were all In the Heights cast members. No Andy in sight. Damn. The Dance Captain taught us the combo at lightning speed and then we broke into groups of 4 to do our thing. I was clearly out of my league as a hip-hopper, and although I thought I rocked the movement and looked good and contained doing it, I didn’t do a backflip, or windmill, or a one-arm freeze as did the guys who got kept to dance. Had Andy been there I don’t think the audition would have turned into a trick frenzy, but alas. The only white guys they were keeping were several inches shorter than me, so perhaps it was a type thing as well.

Across the hall at Little Mermaid I maid a full costume change (something much more prudish) and shuffled through my book to find an 8 bar cut. 8 bars of a song is usually half a verse or chorus. It doesn’t give one much of a chance to tell a story, or even make acting choices. I chose about 16 bars at the end of “She Loves Me” as my best bet to make an impression with this limitation; since the song is in cut time I figured they wouldn’t hassle me about the length. In the room was the associate director of the show and an associate from Tara Rubin casting. I focussed on creating a character in that short amount of time, and played the song as a sort of bashful romantic, a vulnerable prince I guess, a persona that might fit the Disney idiom. The associate casting director said as he gave me a friendly giggle, “Thank you very much Andrew, we really appreciate that.” Not a terrible response for 8 bars at a required call (every 6 months a Broadway show or tour is required by Actors Equity to hold a casting call whether or not they are currently seeking talent).

Whew! Finally the end of the week.

Friday morning I used a spatula to pry myself out of bed. I had nearly slept-in and was debating it with each snooze of my alarm so I didn’t have time to have a Zen morning and instead had to run out the door, down to Mordor for another day of auditioning. This time it was for Pirates! - a comic restaging of Pirates of Penzance that is going up in Boston. This looks like a really great project and everyone and their dog wants a part. I didn’t make it to the other calls earlier in the week so I was sort of banking on the dance call sailing me through to the next round. The choreographer quickly taught us his athletic and swashbuckling combo in the dance studio at the Actors Equity building and soon enough we were breaking up in groups to give it a go. I didn’t miss a beat, but I also didn’t get kept. I knew I should’ve slept in. I told my agent in an email later in the afternoon, “I guess they weren’t looking for perfection.” Not to be smug, but sometimes is it just unfathomable what they see in someone else that they don’t see in you. You must be able to laugh it off. My way of doing it is to remind myself of my abilities and that I certainly have what it takes, when in fact I know that I often have more than what it takes to be a professional performer.

Since I was at Equity already, I signed up for a time slot for an EPA for Mountain Playhouse in Jennerstown, PA. They do a summerstock that is about 6 plays and 2 msuicals and they like to get people for as much of the season as possible. The woman in the room was the producer Teresa Stoughton Marafino, and she asked me why I was interested in their season. I told her that I have recently gotten my card and an agent, and that I am really trying to round out my resume with plays and am actively pursuing legitimizing myself as an actor and vocalist. She seemed interested and encouraged me to return to the singer call in February. I performed the same monologue from The Boys of Winter and received a positive response from her before going on my merry way. I was hoping the Pirates! thing would have turned out better, but in the end I put myself out there in a new way and felt great about doing it!

I am starting to accumulate that sense of accrued power around many of the pieces that I audition with, making a great potential for the impulses and rehearsed objectives to find a place where they can dance when I’m auditioning. I think this is a good place to be. See you Monday.

I Don’t Like Mondays, But I Do Have an Equity Card

2009-01-20T21:06:00.000-05:00

Showbusiness:
Yesterday was a productive and typical monday in actor land. On the plate: two auditions for shows that I have done in the past at very prominent regional theaters. This was my first day of auditions with my equity card so I was very excited to get out there and see what would happen.
I arose in my loft bed, and sat up and spent the first ten minutes of the day just breathing, meditating, allowing my sleepy mind to fall away and for my body to prepare for the day ahead. After a shower and oatmeal and a brief warm-up (which apparently woke one of my roommates up - I must figure out some system here), I set out for Pearl studios in midtown where sign-up was happening for the EPA for Evita at The Arvada Center in Denver, Co.
An EPA is an Equity Principal Audition, and it is a way for a theater to see a lot of people in one day for the principal roles in a show. It is governed by Actors Equity Association rules, and a monitor (an Equity card carrying audition assistant) is present to run the audition. EPA’s are operated from a series of lists, the first of which being the Equity list which involves sign up slots for every 20 minutes throughout the day -I believe 5 or 6 people at a time. Sign-up for this list usually starts about an hour before the audition, so if you have a specific time you want it is best to get there early and get in line. Now if you can’t get the time you wanted you can also sign up on an alternate list and wait for the first no-shows to slip into the room. As non-union they have two lists as well: Equity Membership Candidate and Non-Equity and if the alternate list is clear they fill the slots with EMC and non-union in succession. (It is nearly impossible for non-equity actors without EMC points to get seen at an EPA)
I arrived at about 8:45 and walked down the hallway littered with hopefuls and into the holding room to find about 150 people in it. I said hi to a colleague I had been on Evita Tour with and asked her if there was any organization to what was occurring. Some snarky man answered for her, “It’s a line. It’s like Disneyland, It wraps around.”
So I asked, “Do you know where the end of the line is?”
His female friend who was having equally as bad a morning gave me the death glare and said, “Yes, it’s in the hall.”
Discombobbed by the negativity of the interaction I found my place at the end of the line next to another colleague from Evita who happened to be my bus buddy on the road. A pleasant surprise! I regained composure instantly. He has been having a hard time getting seen as he is in the EMC program but thought he would stick it out anyway, a hunger in his eyes and a pang in his stomach. The line started moving immediately. When we got into the room I realized I was only about 20 people back from the grumpy couple, which meant I couldn’t have got there 10 minutes later than them, but alas, they are probably hungry too so let’s forgive their attitude. Me, this was my first day back so I had patience for it all!
I got a time of 1:10pm and left Pearl studios for a short, cold and wet walk SE to Chelsea studios on 26th Street.
At Chelsea they were having a tap ECC (Equity Chorus Call) for 42nd Street at the Goodspeed Opera House in East Haddam, CT. ECC’s are also governed from an Equity list, but this list you can sign up for at the AEA building in Times Square ahead of time. Non-members still have to go early and create an unofficial list if they want to be seen and then again wait til’ all union actors have been seen. I am so appreciating my card right now.
Well between here and there I arrived late for the calling of the list, and missed my name being called. As it was, only 78 guys out of the 300 that signed up actually made it to the call, so I got number 79.
The monitor said, “We called the list at 9:30.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I just got held up at another audition.”
Good thing the turnout was small. I could have been screwed.
I saw a friend from my old restaurant as I sat down, exciting, as we have never auditioned together. He looked cute as a button in a pin-stripe vest and a newsies cap. I was wearing my craziest vest, a dress shirt and black pants. A couple of other dudes were literally wearing old costume pants and dress shirts, I’m sure from previous productions of this or some other song-and-dance show. I will reserve a discussion on the subject of “dressing up” for auditions for a later post, but I think it has some validity, and regardless of anyone’s opinion, these boys did get kept.
The producer did something interesting by teaching each group the combo and then dancing all groups back to back (the usual is to teach and dance each group one at a time - sometimes groups take up to an hour with this method). I’m sure this technique saved us loads of time, and I was grateful.
The combination was easy and fun. I sat down between for a moment and worked on the Harlem leg-warmers a bit. I took my vest off to learn the combination and when I put it back on for the audition one girl asked me “Were you just knitting that and now you are wearing it? Damn, I thought I was good with yarn!”
I assured her that that was not the case, although the pattern the two garments are based on is the same.
The other thing the producer did that was very smart was that they taught us the combo in our street shoes and didn’t even allow us to put on our taps until right before we went in to dance. I loved this at the time, and had the combo down to a “T” in my Diesel shoes: sounds, character, everything. When I put my tap shoes on though I was slipping around like some kind of fool and so much that my style went out the door in order to compensate for my desire to avoid injury at all costs. I missed my double pull back at the end of the combo both times, because I thought I was going to die if I did it. Needless to say, I didn’t make the cut. I also have a thin beard I am working on for the Evita and In the Heights calls, so perhaps I don’t look the part either. The whole creative team was very nice and energetic and I had a great time.
Makes me want new shoes. The real nice ones.
42ND STREET — ECC / Tap Dancers who Sing
Goodspeed Musicals
East Haddam, CT
1/19/2009
Chelsea Studios
Director: Ray Roderick
Musical Director: Michael O’Flaherty
Choreographer: Rick Conant
Casting: Stuart Howard Associates

Audition material: Rick Conant’s own tap combo (not original choreo) to the opening number.

I got cut around 12:40 so if I was fast I could make my appointment at Pearl. I got to Peal studios AGAIN at 1 on the money so although I was still a few minutes early they had already called my name. Luckily, there were tons of no-shows in the morning and the alternate list was clear so he said if he could fit any in before lunch at 1:30 he would. And he did. I rarely had to wait at all. And in fact, the wait was lovely because I ran into another friend from a tour, this time Wonderful Town. He was our male lead on the tour, a really nice guy who has recently come to the city from Chicago.

I took off my vest and unbuttoned my shirt to reveal a brown V-neck underneath. My Tibetan prayer beads also dangling around my neck, I mussed up my hair. I turned to the EMC kids as I was about to go in, feeling the fast pace of the last hour and said, “All right. Let’s kill it.”

Since I have done the show before, I was really hoping to be considered for the role of Che, and I thought if I could bring that angsty “Let’s get shit done” vibe into the room with me it would help my odds. I sang my song at a fairly rocking tempo, felt a good vibe in the room, and I left.

EVITA — EPA
Arvada Center of the Arts and Humanities
Arvada, CO
Pearl Studios
1/19/2009
Artistic Producer/ Director: Rod Lansberry
Choreographer: Kitty Skillman-Hilsabeck
Casting: Wojcik/ Seay casting
Audition material: “The Flesh Failures” from Hair. 90 second cut including one verse and “Manchester” bit. Emphasis: Angst and Narration.

I was walking to check out Broadway Dance Center after the audition, humming the song to myself again and critiquing my performance when I turned the corner on 45th Street. The Hair marquee is up. It’s a sign (literally). Lakshmi.

The evening ended at T. Schreiber studios. An even biggerr awakening. More on that later.

Harlem Legwarmers for Hip Hop and Salsa

2009-01-17T15:56:00.001-05:00

Knitting:
As I was flying home from Spokane Washington the other day I whipped out my tapestry needle and started sewing up the back of a pair of legwarmers I've been working on for my roommate. We live in Harlem in an apartment we are calling Buckingham Palace because 1. Harlem is Gandor "Land of Kings", 2. The apartment is huge and 3. We have recently started worshipping at the altar of Fleetwood Mac (Rumors to be precise -on vinyl with record players in the bathroom and the common space). We stomp our way to the A/D trains at 125th street most commonly and in this bitter cold a pair of entrelac legwarmers in earth tones seem both reasonable and fashionable. The basic idea of the ankle-huggers is very similar to a scarf pattern I made for my mom, and then jumped off to create my "Craziest Vest", a pattern I will share when I can knit up a second and more precise version. I will post a full pattern as soon as I finish the legwarmers too, but I wanted to talk today a little about mattress stitch. My ravelry friend eightlimbs commented during my vacation at home that my vest (which I was wearing) had such clean seams along the side. She asked me how I got such nice looking seams and said that she has immense trouble when working with this finishing technique.

Well, I certainly feel that this stitch can be a crap-shoot and get a bit frustrating, so I think it's worth sharing some input and describing the process to see if it helps. Certainly comment if you have anything to ad to this. I have linked a YouTube tutorial above.

In this particular case, I am stitching up the edge of an entrelac pattern, so finding the bars of the stitches is difficult. Entrelac creates stockinette stitch on a bias which places the knit increases and decreases to happen at the edge. This means that sometimes there are normal bars (i.e. the top loop of a knit stitch or the carry bar between two stitches), and sometimes there are just knots and slanting stitches. So if I haven't muddled it up already... a few tips.

1. Set aside a time to sew up your seams. Don't try to attach this to the end of the actual knitting of a garment unless you are feeling extremely centered, focused and have plenty of time. It is better to come to it with a sense of patience. I would even go so far as to recommend not sewing in loose ends and using this stitch in the same session.

2. This goes with having ample time, but it is important to experiment with finding the right bars, and not being afraid of going back a few stitches when things start to get wonky.

I don't use the cast on tail always, but one thing I do first is to find the outer most loop of the R and L cast-on knots at the bottom of the garment and loop the needle once through each. I then begin by picking up one bar on the R and two bars on the L. I then follow by picking up two bars on the R making sure the first bar is between (in vertical orientation) the two bars on the left. This gives it snakey shape, and makes for a secure seam that is uniform the whole way through. At the end I loop the the yarn once through the top knots of each side and sew in the ends.

Problems do occur along the road, and as I said before most commonly the fix is just to go back a few stitches and figure it out. Deep breaths are good.

Sometimes in garments that need the edges to match in a precise place due to pattern orientation (such as entrelac or fair isle) a cheat is necessary, and in these cases I try to anticipate the difference in the two sides alignment a half inch or so before I reach the matching point. When this happens I simply increase the number of bars i pick up on the side that is longer in order to sinch it down a bit until the lengths of each side are again uniform. If this only happens once or twice, the bunching of the seam isn't so bad and the peace that comes from lining up your shapes far outweighs the subtle mathematical imperfection.

Here I show picking up three stitches to make the ends line up.

Well this isn't a fool proof guide to the stitch, but I hope it sheds some light on some common problems with it. Perfectionists might be off-put but my cheat suggestions but I sometimes enjoy the stumbly aspects of hand knits. In the future I may try using a slip stitch edge when working an entrelac garment that requires a seam and see if it saves a headache.

Tid bit: A west-east flight is the perfect prison for a crafter who has some knitting chores to get done.

Showbusiness:
Friday I took a two-hour master class with Tony award winning choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler (Apple Tree, 9 to 5 and In the Heights). The workshop was a preparatory class for the In the Heights dance auditions that are happening next Thursday. Now I haven't seen In the Heights, but I have auditioned for Andy before and knew that his style is querky and fun, and full of heart. I did know that the show is predominantly latino but I thought it might be worth it to put my face out there anyway, and learn a bit of insider advice from him that could be useful in auditions for his other shows.

The class was a blast, a combination of both hip hop and latin theater styles.

Andy is a very articulate and genuine person to learn from. He teaches the choreography clearly and quickly, sometimes taking time to really give you the narrative of each movement and a directorial word of advice for the perimiters in which to play with the dance. He describes musicals as existing somewhere in a "heightened state of reality" and that the music comes of a situation heightening to a point of near explosion, resulting instead in song and dance. I can appreciate this perspective, and as it relates specifically to auditioning, I can absolutely bite on to this formula -a heightened state of emotion that is ready to burst at the seams- and use it to instill a confidense into making bold character choices during these intimidating cattle calls. Andy is at the height of his career and has just cast two very buzz worthy projects, I think I will take his advice.

This workshop was right in line with what I was writing about teachers that show-and-tell. He showed us and told us what he expected, how to put some heart into it, and that if someone's not right for it it really isn't the end of the world. I realize I am about the whitest guy on the planet and that there probably isn't a part for me in any production of this show, but I'm going to the audition next week, and I am choosing a character, and I am going to do my best to kill it, both for the exposure and the opportunity to practice (to act)! I'm a bit out of shape so what the hell? Let's see how far I can get...

The workshop was offered by Stage Door Connections, a new networking source for dancers in the city wishing to work on common audition materials and to meet new and established choreographers and the like. The class took place at Ailey studios.

3rd Realm: Religion
Watching these two vids is worth a hundred Hail Marys in my new faith. The second is advanced worship.

Welcome to New York

2009-01-16T18:19:00.001-05:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by archaicrelief.

3rd Realm:

As an actor, every time I return to New York my heart rushes and my hands tingle as familiarity settles in. Tonight the Subway smells like a pub and a collected energy of thoughtfulness permeates the car. The tourists have left the city in the cold for a month or two of peace. Here is a collection of two dozen people from greatly different backgrounds and equally as different interests. Each person marked with a quiet articulation of style that informs us that they are exactly who they are, and that they live where they belong. I am home.

Welcome to New York.

The journey begins

2009-01-15T15:08:00.000-05:00

The Beginning: Poetics and Etiquette

From a dire need to be productive comes a an ambitious template for expression. A want to document and share my personal processes and quests for learning for my own fulfillment, along with a desire to inform and educate others, consumes me. The bite of this apple -the "big apple" being my home- to cooperatively fuse two very special and weighty worlds: Knitting and Acting. Each of these pursuits are rich and valuable outlets in my life; and each carry with them, as grand and creative pursuits, a plethora of sub-subjects, ins and outs and a most tireless propensity toward growth. This growth of skills and information is what I will share here.

As each subject deserves its own acute apprenticeship, I will tell of the epiphanies, advances, chores and tricks of the trades as eloquently as possible and in row with a 'compassionate subjectivity' -a viewpoint that although directed from the self outward stops short of critique to re-direct opinions and emotions cultivated along this path into helpful, mostly-objective thoughts, infused with a deep breath and subjective restraint. I shall divide the two subjects up with appropriate headings when they are written about side by side so that the reader might navigate more quickly to the subject that interests their own pursuits. I will reserve a third and yet un-definitive heading -a gray area- for expressions that are neither here nor there in regards to these two main topics, but that somehow seem applicable or essential additions to my artistic growth. This floating 3rd realm of more compulsory and sensitive authenticities can find a safe place too, on these pages.

The topics shall be defined as thus:

Knitting: A forum for discussing the projects that I am creating and the techniques that coincide with them. This is geeky knitter talk and I will discuss yarns, gadgets, design and designers, stores, online communities, triumphs, frustrations and anything else applicable to the craft/artform. When I have time I will try to write patterns for anything I have designed on my own or to provide accurate directions and links to patterns that I have modified for a particular result. Pictures and tutorials will be included and I may link other knit blogs, products and whatever I feel appropriate. I will attempt to be as clear and detailed as possible to the process of each garment I create.

Showbusiness: (I choose this word because it is my profession) A place to discuss the ins and outs and daily adventures of auditioning, networking, taking class, organizing, the shaping of image and otherwise all pursuits essential to the full-time work/learning process that is being a New York actor. I will cover the crafts of acting, dance and voice work (singing and speech), and will discuss the elements of my day to day on the pavement of NYC and in the theaters and studios where I work -trying not to become an 'expert' as to others in this business, but to present what is learned (and perhaps ignored) from a life -my single life- in this eccentric field.

As I just stated, it is not a goal of mine to become an expert. In fact, as an artist of a rather weighty emotional nature I often feel envious and yet repulsed and offended by the confidence of highly competitive and narcissistically enforced airs that are held by artists and professionals that are desperate for success, well, maintaining success: people who reveal their expertise as though just beneath it lies a great void of fear-based nothingness, dumbness. The the teachers that inspire my journey are those that teach a sense of accumulation and impart their wealth of accumulated findings through an awareness of process, a kind of sharing -or to go back to the beginning of my learning- a show-and-tell. I hope to show-and-tell the actors life.

Finally, it should be said that I am also exploring one other hidden but quite obvious outlet here: writing. I hope to grow and experiment with a voice that is authentic to the artists and artisans in these many fields -a voice that while remaining clear and informative sometimes reaches for the underworld of that desire to create, illuminating perhaps, in small and shimmering moments, the essential needs of all humans- most curious and destructive animals that we are.